i've been trying so hard, i've been trying my best to move on and yes i did a little bit. i'm moving on with myself not with anyone else but with myself. i try to be happy with the things i do even when i'm studying. but there is always that one moment where i started to think about everything back and i felt so weak. so weak until i couldn't even remember who i was before this shits happened. i used to be the one with a big smile, i laughed a lot. right now, i can see that all that is just a part of my 'acting'. i act i'm all fine in front of people because i do not want them to see the 'pathetic' part of me. and i'm asking myself? is this worth for me? acting? pretending? well that's the only way to be happy, to move on. i keep everything inside me. can you imagine of keeping every single thing inside you? boleh jadi gila kan? but that's what i'm doing now. whatever happened to me, the fights, the tears, the conversations, whatever just whatever happened, i can only keep it inside me. i swear you don't wanna see the inside part of me. you will probably faint maybe because it's just too much. i don't have anyone to share my feelings with and even if i do, they won't even understand any or and maybe the only word that comes out from them is "stupid". call me stupid but i swear that won't make me realize how much i've been suffering all this while.