muhasabah

I've been in a mess-kind-of situation lately. Tests got me migraine. No, it wasn't the tests but the lecturers themselves. Had to cover everything back from the beginning, from the first class of lecture. I always thought degree is as fun as those uploading photos of them laughing in the class, of them studying in a hall (lecture hall I meant).. bcs when I was in Poly, the situation wasn't the same as how it looks like in the university. But, I thought it wrong. It's been messing up my life, I've been upgrading my emotional feeling (I'm being too emo that I used to be bfr) since I started my degree last year. & honestly, I do not like the way how my life is living now. Oh yes, my scholarship is not included. I am grateful enough to receive a scholar for degree, but not as much fun I used to have in diploma. Again, I had my heart broken lots of time bfr, but tbh, this time, I'm growing up, I'm getting old, & broken heart hit me even harder. As I look at my friends (the same age as I am), thinking of how they receive their happiness & in the mean time, I talk to myself "you're not there yet, you're not the lucky ones"

I know good things take time, & of course to reach the best, there must be obstacles you must pass through it. But anyway, for those who are suffering from the same feeling as I do, nothing you could ever do but to keep praying. I always remind myself that, the Almighty listens to whatever you say in your prayer. You pray for someone, He look up on that person. He listens to you everytime even when you're whispering or saying it in your heart. I always remind myself that, if it's not now, maybe later. When something is meant to be yours, trust Him, He will make it yours.

As for those who thinks that degree is difficult, I'm telling the truth, YES IT IS! But no, try to get over it. As I said, keep reminding yourself that nothing is impossible, Subjects yes are getting harder as you get older. Especially for getting a not so understanding lecturer, you have to study by yourself. That is how it goes. You get older, you'll be more independent. That's the thing.